If you are suffering from fibromyalgia/ chronic fatigue syndrome, or some other health
challenge, you’ve probably had some experiences similar to mine. You may agonize as I
did, over feeling like a ‘basket case,’ weighed down by a sense of hopelessness and
discouragement. Perhaps sometimes you wonder if you should resign yourself to a limited
life, relinquishing desire for the joy and freedom you once knew.
But since you are here, I bet there is another voice inside you that says, ‘NO!!! I refuse to
accept this! I am not giving up! There must be more for me to know that will help me heal! I
intend to enjoy life again.’
It was a voice like that inside me that would not let me give up. I spent 6 years leaving no
stone unturned, no idea unexplored, to find a way to heal. Even though I studied nutrition,
psychology, and many other aspects of healing body, mind and emotions for over 25
years, there still was much I needed to know.
How do you heal a crashed immune system and repair a damaged body? How do you
deal with the depression, fatigue, and emotional volatility that accompanies a struggling
body?
I devoted myself to learning everything I could about healing - and haven’t stopped! Now I
have that much more to share with you. If my experience is any indication, it is likely you
have considerably more capacity for healing than you might have imagined. Always be
open to new ideas, new options. And of course, enjoy every bit of life you can right now,
just as you are.
But in the year 2000, it became clear that my healthy lifestyle was not stemming the slowly
worsening symptoms. No matter what I tried, it didn’t help. I finally decided to see a holistic
MD who had been very highly recommended to me.
I did everything exactly as this doctor told me to do, but kept feeling worse. Each time I
tried something new and felt better, I then got sicker than before. It was most perturbing,
especially since I am tireless in my self-care routine, and followed the doctor’s instructions to
the letter. Every two weeks or so, I was at the doctor’s office for some exotic alternative
treatment, and endless tests and consultations. I always hoped that this time, we would find
just the right thing to help me regain my youthful vigor. But no, it was not to be.....
Then, a serious mistake was made in my treatment. A chronic, slowly worsening situation
turned into an acute, precipitously declining one. My struggling immune system crashed.
I entered the darkest and most disturbing, depressing time of my life. Watching the youth I
had so carefully nurtured drain from my body was a nightmare. In the midst of it, I felt as
though if I continued on this path, it would lead to an early death. I frequently limped badly,
grimacing or crying out in pain even while walking across a perfectly flat floor. At my worst, I
was often in severe pain whether sitting, standing, or even lying down. At my best, I still
limped, but not as badly; I still hurt, but could bear it.
My mind was not functioning properly. I often walked into a room to get something and
forgot what I was there for. It was not a ‘senior moment’ - too young for that! It was because
I had fibromyalgia/ chronic fatigue. It was a momentous task to have a clear thought, an
intelligent conversation, to interact socially. I didn’t want to be around people most of the
time.
If I lay down on the rug to do a few stretches, more often than not, I would wake up an hour
later in whatever position I had last assumed before falling asleep. Driving my car in broad
daylight, after about 10 minutes, I became a road hazard, fighting to stay awake. I got in the
habit of bringing easy-to-access snacks with me whenever I drove anywhere - chewing on
something good-tasting helped me stay awake (usually). At least half a dozen times, I was
pulled over by a cop and asked if I’d been drinking alcohol. Four years of going to holistic MD’s ultimately did no good. My health just kept deteriorating
during that time. The mistake that was made exacerbated and extended my severe stage
another 3 years. All the exotic (and expensive) avant garde alternative treatments I
received in the offices of these doctors ended up being palliative, even though briefly I
would feel good from many of them. I kept going to the doctors because I thought I
needed to in order to get better. It ended up that the heroic treatments were just propping
up a severely sagging immune system. During one period, I became allergic to every food except lettuce and coconut oil. For a few
years, even eating a quarter of an apple would bring on joint and muscle pain! For $200.00
I would get electrodermal testing at the doctor’s office to determine which substances in
foods I was allergic to, then for another $40.00, some ‘phenolic remedies,’ homeopathic
remedies that would alleviate the allergies. They did. I felt better. Then I felt worse. Back to
the doctor for more testing, more remedies. Another $250.00. Did I mention that it was a 3 hour trip to the doctor’s office? I embarked on that pilgrimage
about every two weeks for a few years. A whole cooler full of food and lots of breaks from
driving got me there and back. I tried different doctors. The best doctor I went to was a gentleman known as the
‘grandfather of alternative medicine on the east coast.’ One day, he said to me, ‘You don’t
want to be a difficult case.’ I was. This doctor helped me the most, but then moved to
Arizona not long after I began seeing him. I was sad to see him go. I really liked that man.
He is a great doctor.
There was no one else I felt good about going to. The moment had arrived where it was up
to me to find what was needed for healing. Love and encouragement from family and
friends gave me much needed support. But in a certain way I was alone. I got very clear
that in the final analysis, it was fully my responsibility to heal myself.
Success!
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From the year 2000 through 2005, I suffered a laundry list of worsening symptoms.
Previously, I had been a marathon runner and long distance swimmer. I lived a rural life that
included such insane feats as single-handedly cutting down a 7” diameter ironwood tree by
hand with a bow saw and loading chunks of it weighing twice as much as me into the back of
a Toyota wagon.
During my fibromyalgia/ chronic fatigue syndrome trials and tribulations, the things I most
loved doing turned to chores. I could barely kneel down to weed the garden, and my back
and hips would be in excruciating pain afterwards. It took an hour instead of ten minutes to
do some stretches in the morning.
Hip pain after a long run or a long road trip. Fatigue after exercising. Little glitches in my
thinking processes. Depression and feelings of inadequacy. I just thought it was joint wear
and tear from years of running, getting a little older, problems that needed to be worked out
in my personal relationships, old emotional wounds from growing up. 
My whole body was inflamed - not just my joints and muscles, not just my digestive tract,
but even my brain. It was a major effort to think clearly. Even sleep was not complete relief;
I often had weird nightmares (one of the signs of bodily imbalance and toxicity), and was in
pain even lying down.
From not being able to walk without limping, I now easily snowshoe through two feet of
powder snow up and down steep hills in the woods, and hike every day in the other
seasons. I do high-impact aerobic workouts leaping into the air, dance, flex my spine
generously in every direction, and do free weight work. All that with no joint pain. Other
symptoms, such as fatigue, have disappeared. I can drive 6 hours straight to visit my Mom
in western NY, work on the computer for that long without a break, am clear-headed and
sharp-minded. Most important, I experience joy in life, even when difficulties arise.
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